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How to Make a Mama Two Ways

July 21, 2013

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He watches, intently absorbing each movement, each smile, each something, every everything. And then the smile, the grin, appears. Sometimes a baby laugh tumbles forward. And the watching fueled by curiosity trains his eyes on us.

But Luke studies Reed closest of all. He’s enamored with this bigger-than-him brother, percolating a fascination, reserved especially for his strawberry-headed brother. Luke’s round, blue-eyed perspective reveals awe, amazement, and excitement about Reed.

Simply, Luke sees better than most of the rest of us.

See differently, Mama. See him as my big brother who will teach me to do — to be — so many things.

My American-made performance, perfection, preoccupation with perception (others’ mainly) self seems awkward and gangly, mis-shapen and out of place between these two brothers. The older made me a mama, the younger is showing me a new way of knowing Reed.

How could I have known brotherhood would teach me so much about motherhood?

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