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August 18, 2016

Dear Reed,

Monday we met your teachers and you got to explore your classroom. We saw the gym and the cafeteria and the library — all the neat places that will help you learn and grow.

Tuesday we met your team — the teachers and therapists and principal and admin assistant and psychologist — who are already working so hard to support you in this new adventure of kindergarten. I sat with them at the table, talking about you, your strengths, your challenges, our hopes, our concerns. Bud, you have a good village (and boy do I mean village — at least ten people around that table!). Now I know we’re in the right place, with the right people.

And then there’s tomorrow. Big, deep breath for my mama self. The big, burning question leading up to this day is have we done enough? Have we helped you enough so that tomorrow you feel confident and secure in who God has made you? I think of all the things we have said, could have said, might have done, did do. And all I can do is remind myself to breathe.

So, I breathed in the smell of your slightly curling strawberry hair tonight and in an instant I’m back in that operating room, arms shaking, listening to a nurse gleefully announce that my baby had red hair! Then I see your toothy, baby grin smiling back at me from the back of the blue truck right after your first haircut. And in another moment, I remember how your first words were actually first signs — more and eat and ball and dog. I see you all crinkle nosed, face-to-face snuggling (which Grammy swears was really a Reed-style interrogation) with tiny newborn Luke. And the tears come quick and ready as the reel of your first steps across that black and white tile kitchen plays in my mind. And oh goodness, the first time I heard you call your baby sister Ansley Goose, the nickname you made up for her, I prayed that it would stick.  I think I’ll be up all night with these memories.

I am so proud of you, Reed. So proud of the person you are and the one you’re becoming. I’m proud to be your mama. I know that this year will be both a challenge and a blessing. Daddy, me, Luke, Ansley — we’re all here cheering you on. We’ll just take it one day at a time. Just like we’ve always done.


4 Comments leave one →
  1. Donna Boggs permalink
    August 18, 2016 9:36 am

    Beautiful post.

  2. Anna Fillgrove permalink
    August 18, 2016 9:29 pm

    Love and tears, as always.

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